Creatine + pea protein · 20 servings · Chocolate
Strength starts where you are.
No lifting required
A real supplement with a deeply unserious name. Five grams of creatine monohydrate and thirty‑five grams of vegan protein per scoop — the same thing serious people take, in a tub that will make your brother‑in‑law laugh out loud before he starts using it every morning.
★★★★★ 4.9 from 1,204 people · 30‑day money back
Interactive dosing guide
The effort meter
Move the slider to the amount of effort you are willing to contribute. The projected result is calculated live.
Projected results
Maximum
Optimal. Don't move.
The projection does not respond to the slider. This is the product.
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Build strength*
Creatine monohydrate at the full 5 g clinical dose. Not a dusting of it for the label.
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Support recovery*
35 g of pea protein per scoop, with a complete amino acid profile.
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Boost performance*
Everything above, provided you also do some exercise. We'll be honest about that part.
The part where we stop joking
The name is the bit.
The powder is real.
Underneath the branding this is an ordinary, well‑made supplement: creatine monohydrate and pea protein isolate, at doses that match what the research actually uses. No proprietary blends, no fillers doing the work of ingredients, nothing on the label you need a chemistry degree to evaluate.
We think that's what makes it a good gift. It's funny on the doorstep and still in the cupboard six months later.
- Creatine
- 5 g monohydrate
- Protein
- 35 g pea isolate
- Flavour
- Chocolate, naturally flavoured
- Size
- 2.2 lb / 1,000 g · 20 servings
- Diet
- Vegan · dairy free · gluten free
- Made in
- USA, in a cGMP facility
Supplement Facts
Serving size 1 scoop (50 g)
Servings per container 20
Amount per serving% DV
Calories190
Total Fat 3 g4%
Total Carbohydrate 5 g2%
Dietary Fiber 3 g11%
Protein 35 g70%
Sodium 150 mg7%
Creatine Monohydrate 5 g†
Pea Protein Isolate 40 g†
Sedentary Blend 0 g†
Sitting
Continuing to sit
† Daily Value not established. No Daily Value has been established for sitting, and we suspect none will be.
Other ingredients: cocoa powder, natural chocolate flavour, sea salt, stevia leaf extract.
Results may require going to the gym.
We are legally and morally obliged to mention this.
Verified buyers
Bought as a joke.
Finished the tub.
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★★★★★
Bought it for my brother‑in‑law entirely to embarrass him at Christmas. He has been on it four months and now he will not stop telling me about his deadlift.
Marcus T. · Verified buyer
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★★★★★
Ordered one tub to make fun of my roommate. The chocolate is genuinely good and mixes without a shaker ball. We are both on it now. I am not sure who won.
Priya N. · Verified buyer
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★★★★★
My dad read the ingredients and said "wait, this is just creatine." Yes, Dad. That is the joke. Four stars because he now wants me to buy him more of it.
Dana W. · Verified buyer
Launch pricing
One tub. Twenty mornings.
$39.99 $49.99 Save 20%
$2.00 per serving · free shipping over $50
The store isn't open yet. Sofa Power ships later this year. Join the list and you'll get first access and launch pricing held. We'll send one email to confirm the address, then one more when it ships. Nothing else.
- 30‑day money‑back guarantee
- Ships from the USA
- Cancel the emails in one click
Questions
Reasonable things to ask
Is this a real supplement, or just a gag box?
Real. Every tub holds 20 servings of 5 g creatine monohydrate and 35 g of pea protein. It is manufactured in a cGMP facility in the United States and third‑party tested for heavy metals and identity. The name is a joke. The powder is not.
Will it make me strong if I don't exercise?
No, and we would rather tell you that here than have you find out later. Creatine supports strength and power output when it is paired with resistance training. Protein supports recovery from that training. With no training at all you will mostly be well hydrated and slightly heavier. The branding is a joke about how we would all like it to work.
Do I have to sit on a sofa?
No. Armchairs, beanbags, floors and one reclining office chair have all been reported as effective. Standing is permitted, though it is not encouraged by the packaging.
Is it vegan?
Yes. The protein is pea isolate, so there is no dairy, and it is gluten free. Creatine monohydrate is synthesised rather than extracted from animals, which is true of essentially all creatine on the market.
How does it taste?
Chocolate, naturally flavoured with cocoa and sweetened with stevia. Pea protein has a distinct earthiness and we have leaned into it rather than burying it in sucralose. It mixes cleanly in water; it is better in oat milk.
Can I give this as a gift?
This is the primary use case. At checkout you'll be able to choose a plain shipping box or the loud one, and add a note. We recommend the loud one.
What if I don't like it?
Email us within 30 days and we'll refund it, opened tub included. You do not need to ship anything back.